Social Responsibility

The September 11 observances were so moving. Some of the people who posted to my Comments on another site shared remarkable things. Some who wrote to me privately told of things that can be proven. Their statements show the bad faith and puppeteering of the day’s events. Just as with learning that the re-election of Bush the Younger was an inevitability, I was disappointed but no longer shocked at the news.

Explanations for the Inaction

Perhaps that loss of shock and social indignation is the reason so many of us allowed the snowballing effect of allowing our rights to be usurped. That was probably accompanied by (as in the Nixon regime) being overwhelmed with so many social, economic, and career upheavals that the only thing we could do was simply try to make the band-aid work to patch the gaping hole in our social fabric and livelihood.

I received many posts from a fellow in Morocco. The posts show the effects of the bombings and uranium that contaminates the environment. The quotes he provided and the anecdotes of life in the war zone(s) make me hate the fact that we, like sheep, accepted the increasingly fascist rule under the Reagan/Bush/Bush regimes and that we never had the motivation to exercise our rights as citizens to remove the ones (especially the last one) from office for failure to do the will of the people. Indeed, the majority of the people were willing to swallow the swill passed off as patriotism and a worthy national cause as truth. We blindly marched to the edge of the cliff and our own destruction in lemming style.

Racial Damnation

The fact that minorities, especially Blacks who are doomed to live out their lives in the ghetto, existing with poor education, lackluster values, their only hope contained in the deals they’re able to do to earn more than minimum wage and overcome the restrictions of welfare is consciously devastating to me. The fact that there are those who would, by example and deportment, damn others who are not of that ilk (and never were) is also disappointing to me.

The fact that Blacks carry such a burden from one generation to the next for eternity is not a curse but a test of how resilient the race can be. It is a test of each person with any part of an identity with that race to show the best of who they are. We are leaders, all of us, and we must lead by example.

When can we stop and relax? Only when behind our own doors and still being the best we can be for our own selves and for the sake of proving to our God that He has made a good steward in us to carry out His works in marvelous ways. Each time we go slack, we invite those who would keep us under their foot and in social bondage, we confirm their low opinion of us. We sin against ourselves. More importantly, we confirm that we are an example of what can be expected of the race — the poorest in personal habits, language, work product, knowledge, and everything else.

I still remember the words of my Second Grade teacher. I can’t remember what caused her to make the pronouncement. And in the mid 1950s, elementary school classes were a mix of colors and races, all children simply there to learn and be part of the mix without regard to the differences. But she told her charges, “. . . because you are Negro, you will have to be twice as good [as the Whites] in order to be considered half as good.” Her words were to encourage us to learn as much as we could and to put that knowledge to use in all aspects of our lives.

Where are those values today? Do we teach those values to the youth of today? I think not. I believe we teach them to expect to be subjugated and cut out of the race to be best. They then opt for their own entrepreneurial path, not realizing they do not have the training and knowledge to embark on such an endeavor. Thus, they stumble and do business in a poor and slipshod way, thereby setting an example that minority, and especially Black, business people are not a good choice for goods, services, advice and so on.

How should we survive? Will we overcome?

Still Standing for the Cause

There are times when we go through situations that are most disagreeable. Unsavory as they are, unacceptable to the typical, forward-looking person, there are those who see no flaw in the circumstances because that is obviously where the person is supposed to be. They are among their kind. These individuals are progressing as they are supposed to be (which is actually stagnating and not being challenged in any meaningful way). These people are free to live wherever they want as long as it’s in the same or lesser environment of where they’re expected to be. Goods and services are acquired appropriate to the person’s standing. There is freedom of self expression in whatever manner chosen, so long as it’s among a particular class of people. Boundaries should be respected.

That description sounds like life from some foreign planet. It sounds like a brochure for a communist country tour or a visit to some place still existing under dictator rule. Actually, it’s a description of life for a typical 21st Century resident in a United States ghetto.

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) has established unequivocal standards that relate to fair employment practices. One would expect that after more than 50 years, those rules and regulations would be part of every person’s subconscious and guide them to make proper decisions as well as act in a reasonable way when sourcing, recruiting, screening, and hiring. But they don’t. More examples are reported each week.

Even in the recruiting industry, there are those who proudly beat their chests and boast about how ethical they are. Yet these are the very same people who will attempt to have the applicant exclude themselves from being considered by asking them questions that tend to disqualify rather than demonstrate higher qualifications. What the applicants who survive this screening-out process gain is an opportunity at a lower salary because of the lack of skills they have to offer. It tends to be Jim Crow in treatment.

Again, prime examples of race-based pay inequities abound. Statistics from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and education centers abound with the evidence. According to a 1998 study by the National Center for Education Statistics, the difference between compensation received for work (and education that qualifies the individual for it) among black women compared with Asians was .857% and between black to white workers was .9724% for the same position. In other words, blacks could expect to earn at least 3 cents less than their white counterparts and 15 cents less than their Asian ones.

This reduced starting (and therefore long-term) salary keeps certain races and individuals locked into an ever downward spiraling path of lack of opportunity. It may look like they are getting work. But many times the work that is offered actually constitutes permanent under-employment. The only hope the person has of advancing their career is to change jobs because, unlike their initial hiring process, they will be passed over for all promotions unless they are quite aggressive in their pursuit of something more advanced.

These lesser positions and opportunities are partially hinged on the not-so imaginary inferior quality of education that is delivered in black neighborhoods, especially the ghettos, compared with what is supposed to be a level playing field of equal education and exposure to challenging concepts that will develop the critical thinking minds and talent we so desperately need in 2018. Teachers are saddled with not only inferior quality supplies and resources. They are also burdened with inordinate amounts of administrative paperwork. Couple those obstacles with students who come to school ill prepared because they may have been deterred by any number of factors, and you have a powder keg of disenfranchisement that can be blamed on any and every part of “The System.”

As with the times before the EEOC, before the 1950s, people no longer rock the boat with protests of unfair opportunity or unequal opportunity. Instead, they quietly take whatever they can get in order to support their own selves and their families. Stakes, as always, are high. There are bills to be paid, rent that always comes due or resort to living on the streets. But the salaries the minorities can command are so much less than that of others that the quality of goods and services that can be consumed is also lacking. The ripples of unfair employment practices spread across the pond and touch on every aspect of business and life as we know it.

It no longer does any good to protest the wrong. To do so is to be one who makes waves and is uncontrolled and uncontrollable, prone to violence at the least provocation. The solution is to shut up the noise and get rid of it by whatever means is expedient.

We stand today looking forward to a new horizon of opportunity and a promise of change from the status quo. We have a new president who has been elected on the merit of who he is and how he conducts himself, not on what he is. What he actually represents is another statement about being an American. He is a blend of races that came to these United States. He is an example of one family’s struggle to make ends meet and strive to be a little better than the previous generation. He is one who knows the history of this country and appreciates the foundations upon which all of the lessons are based. From that type of knowledge and awareness, there can be growth and improvement.

With grit, tenacity, hard work, and adapting to the many cultures surrounding him, Barack Obama has succeeded in being the the President of Change. Change is desperately needed. Nay, it is required. He prepares to step into his office on Tuesday with the state of the Nation in shambles scattered about the floor. The leadership of the previous administration was in word only, not in execution. The world is breathing a sigh of relief and pensively waiting for the first strokes of the man who will bring order back to the Nation of leaders.

We now have the daunting task of getting shell-shocked troops out of countries where they should not have been sent in the first place only to bring them back to home soils where there are no jobs. There are few job opportunities for those who never left the States while they face high rates of layoffs. Wages are not desirable. Rents are high. Housing is next to impossible to find because lenders are foreclosing on more properties than gaining revenue from the risk. Perhaps we should become a nation of Peace Corps enlistees who live from the basics of the land and build up. Is it realistic for us to look back to an agrarian economy? As long as agri-business isn’t involved, that could be one of the solutions.

It was about 50 years ago that we marched on Washington singing and chanting and joining hands to demand Freedom Now. We listened as the charismatic King told us of how we were on our way to the Promised Land of Opportunity. But we now stand looking at that prospect and dare not breathe lest the dream vanish before our eyes.

Do we have anyone in our numbers, of whatever race or mixture, who is willing to call the injustices when they’re encountered and strive to create the corrections, turn the thinking, to the directions where there truly is an open door for those who have worked to enter it? We look forward to this inauguration and are hopeful. But we look toward this inauguration with two generations of people who no longer remember why all of these inroads are landmark.

Instead, those two generations ask “What’s Going On?” while those who were not even in their teens attempt once more to explain who the leaders were, what causes existed, why they were important and mattered. They hope by sharing the stories the younger generations will be infused with a desire to learn those lessons and names. There is a hope that they will strive to pick up the gauntlet and continue where others fell short.

We need to once again reflect on our American freedoms before we begin to formulate the response to these new generations. But we, all of us, no matter what color or ethnicity, need to be certain of the many promises this land held for us in the 1600s when the Pilgrims settled at Plymouth. And then we need to find ourselves still standing for the causes they represent. Finally, we need to firmly grasp the reins of change in order to effectuate that change, not run away from the deterioration that has become part of our apathetic reverie. Rather we need to move forward to the progressive realization of The Dream so that it will not have been in vain.

When’s the Right Time?

When’s the right time to make a profound disclosure?

We all have self-created images of another person based on their writing(s), their phone voice, the content of their resume. These are all innocuous media that are EEOC approved because they tend to not disclose the race, gender, age, physical disabilities that the other person has (or does not have).

Sometimes things will be given away in small ways. They are not that consequential and we accept that the matter will be disclosed. Essentially, it’s a time saver for people to realize “Wallace” is a man, not a woman; that Chin means the person with whom we’re corresponding is Chinese.

Most things become very obvious when we finally meet in person. But some things are still obscure, even in person. So when’s the right time to reveal that you have a disability and will need an accommodation? Some employers (and HR folk) get very nervous when they learn that their candidate or applicant has a disability and will require an accommodation. Or you tell a recruiter that the applicant will need a special keyboard and their voice begins to quaver as it becomes distant. They’re visualizing front office appearance and the negative of that. Then they either say they’ll get back to you about the applicant or tell you the position has been pulled. They’re loss. But did they really need to know about the disability at that early juncture?

Perhaps the disability doesn’t need to be revealed at all. No accommodations are required. To bring up the disability is to gild the lily and call unnecessary attention to something that’s a non-issue. But when there are unnecessarily burdensome requests and demands made that go beyond the necessities of the job being performed, it’s more than appropriate to put the other person on notice that they are being obtuse and a more reasonable and efficient way of doing the job (in addition to more cost effective) is available. Did I say anything about revealing the disability that’s being tolled? Why would it be necessary? Maybe to get sympathy; but that isn’t the goal here.

Normally, I give advice through these blog posts or merely express my opinion or vocalize my stance. There are times when I actually leave the final call up to the reader and wait for the conversation to start. This is one of those instances.

You are smart people. You have valuable thoughts that deserve being communicated so that others can know you and consider your perspective as they formulate their own opinions.

Back to our subject — when to talk about a disability. What about when the subject of favorite activities comes up? Do you say, “Boy, I just love reading my braille notes during a dark and stormy night.” Or when the topic turns to outdoors activities, do you talk about things you used to do but only partake as a spectator now? Maybe an explanation (more or less an apology) isn’t necessary; just saying that it’s a fav spectator sport. Another option is explaining that you were merely curious about the other’s activities and interests and whether there are any matches.

Actually, I don’t think it’s necessary to walk around with a placard saying “Feel sorry for me, I’m disabled.” It might if you have a tin cup, but that isn’t what you want in the workplace nor in the social world. Pity and handouts always come up short. You have an identity. It may not be as attractive to you as you would like it to be. But then, we’re always our own worst critic. Be proud of who and what you are (if there’s integrity) and don’t apologize for your own perceived shortcomings. You just may be a lot more attractive and desirable than you give yourself credit for being.

As to when is the right time to disclose the disability. How about when it’s absolutely necessary — “I never learned to swim” — and everyone is required to dive into the water on “Survivor.”

Should I Stay or Should I Go

I’m sitting at my little desk at Starbucks and looking at three cards. These cards hold a great deal of significance in regard to identifying the woman who owns them. Without these cards, she is the same person. With them, she has some fleeting credibility that is pushed to the edge each day.

I look upon these cards (a staff ID card from the University of San Francisco; a law student ID card from the University of San Francisco; and a Press card from National Writers Union) and the thoughts that go through my mind are very similar to the thoughts that sift through the mind of the domestic violence survivor after long struggles to survive alone and still meeting that stupid brick wall smack dab in the face very fast.

“Should I stay where I am or should I go back?”

In the business world, staying in the new situation that simply is not working is still independence from the situation left behind that was filled with daily confrontations with the abusive boss, the bully in the other cubicle, the harasser from hell down the hall. No money in the world was worth the deterioration of self, ego, and self esteem.

Yet the new situation is unrelenting. It selfishly yields a tongue-tip of honey, sometimes on a daily basis, just enough to keep you baited and staying a little longer in order to catch the reward that never gets delivered. It’s time to make a change. But the change does not involve going back.

The change becomes seeing what you have to offer these sociopathic ego killers. Something they want. Something they’d kill to have. Something their mercenary souls would be given in order to have and to which you hold the keys. The change needs to come from your no longer seeing yourself as powerless. In fact, you have a great deal of power and you now need to not only recognize it but also focus on how to use it.

It isn’t necessary to hold up your resume each and every time you come in contact with these pathetics who would have you turned into a berated child at each encounter with them. Instead, you need to have a no-nonsense conversation with them about whatever topic is on the table. You need to set forth the existing situation, the potentials that radiate from it, and the consequences of each of the acts upon the potentials.

What also needs to happen is to draw these mercenaries into their own trap by engaging them in talking about what they see will happen next. If their assessment is incorrect, tell them, “That’s not exactly where this will go. Instead, it will play out like this . . ..” Then tell them, “A better way to handle this is to . . ..”

Of course, you can also tell them you’d like to explore this conversation with them a little more but you simply don’t have time for it, you’re not interested in being chastised like a small child any more, and given the fact that you are quite capable of lucid, very valid thinking, it is highly non-productive for you to continue to use them or their resources any further.

Well, sometimes the very reason for the alliance was because it availed you of the resources. In that case, thank them for the alliance and come up with some means of keeping your “ally” at a very long distance while you keep entitlement to the resources. When it’s possible to do so without harming yourself, sever the relationship.

You have the intelligence. You have the background. You have the credentials. You are the strong and powerful one. These abusers and bullies are using you to help them gain the advantages they cannot develop on their own behalf. You need the confidence to realize that. It isn’t a question of “Should I stay or should I go?” It’s a matter of “How do I use these idiots to my advantage?”

Next Career Option – Environmentalism

Green and the many aspects it presents may be the direction in which we will find fertile grounds for careers and talent shortages.

The many aspects of creating energy, renewable sources of energy, cost-effective and efficient uses, and many other creative dimensions of the Green Movement remind us that resources are limited.  The more we can focus on creating sensible approaches to sustainable energy as ways to bring power to places that are laboring without it.

Kimberly Samaha has brought our attention to The Bordeaux Energy Colloquium whose site features eight videos of projects creating a positive move forward for areas as diverse as China (biomass), Ghana (rural solar power), Peru and Nepal (micro hydropower), Canada (solar heaters),  and South Africa (bio gas).

In order to spur awareness of this initiative, there will be an online competition in two categories:

• Best case study and technology ($5,000 prize)
• Best recruiter ($500 prize)

The virtual tradeshow and competition will be on Facebook from May 1 – 7. How do you get directions to the tradeshow? Try the link to Bordeaux Energy Colloquium on Facebook.

Best of eLearning Awards and Online Universities Announced

We’re here to help you get ahead. Part of the formula is making informed choices. So here’s some information you climbers should know. It’s also useful information for those who screen the ones being considered for that notch position.

Elearning Readers’ Choice Awards Nominees

Finalists in the Elearning [Readers' Choice] Awards were announced in December 2007 by B2BMediaCo.com. The nominees range from four to six participants in 12 categories, which are:

• Best LMS
• Best On-demand LMS
• Best IT Content
• Best Leadership
• Best Soft Skills
• Compliance Training
• Best Virtual Classroom
• Best Web Seminar
• Presentation Tool
• Best Web Authoring Tool
• Best Simulation Tool
• Best Assessment Tool

Winners were announced in the Winter 2008 issue of Elearning!

This is the first time that a call has been issued for feedback on which products and vendors are of choice for end users. This is usually word-of-mouth intelligence, making it very difficult at times to get complete and reliable information.

Best Online Degree Programs

Elearning! also provides us with their list of the top 20 online degree programs offered and the reasoning for the program’s position on the list among the 200 evaluated. The top 20 are:

• Western Governors University
• Capella University
• Concordia University
• Walden University
• California Coast University
• Ellis College
• Touro University International
• Classes USA Consortium
• University Alliance
• Thomas Edison State College
• Norwich University Online Graduate Programs
• New England College, School of Graduate and Professional Studies Online
• University of Phoenix
• Nova Southeastern University
• Keller Graduate School of Management
• eLearners EXpress (nomination #5)
• American InterContinental University Online
• Baker College Online
• Marist College
• eLearners EXpress (nomination #6)

One additional feature in this article is a section that discusses how to select an online program and 10 mistakes to avoid in making that selection.

Fear of Failure

“I don’t try to do it because I’m afraid I’ll fail,” admitted Sam (a fictitious name of a friend) as we sipped our beverages. That was also the reason he’d not taken his licensing examination, nor learned and taken over duties on one of the more responsible pieces of equipment at his job, nor many other things. I didn’t dare to ask how far his fear of failure extended and what forms of avoidance he used. But the fact that he was avoiding so many opportunities and damning himself to secondary and tertiary situations pained me. I wondered whether he realized how much loss he suffers from this attitude. Sam is a very intelligent man. He is very talented. And if he would let himself go, he might be more afraid of the amount of power he has compared with the losses he suffers because of what he attempts to avoid.

Let’s get a grip on this concept of “failure.” Some see it as a death sentence. If you fail, you do not succeed. There are no other chances to “do” again and you’re forever cast into the Valley of Nothingness. Wake-up call! Not true. Failure is simply not succeeding on this particular attempt. It means there were other concepts that needed to be explored or discussed. It means too much or too little was done to achieve the goal (and that may have been attention to details). Not enough pressure was used or else too little. The wrong choice of words or the wrong timing could have contributed to not succeeding at this time.

Did not succeed on this attempt. That does not spell “inadequate” nor “mal-equipped.” It does not shriek “stupid” as much as simply say “not ready” and “needs additional training” or “give time for additional practice.” Knowledge of the steps to achieve the goal are what are needed. Then practicing those steps under all types of circumstances come next. It’s good to develop some of your own unique ways of achieving the desired results once you know the traditional steps inside and out. “Did not succeed on this attempt” means practice more and then attempt again.

Practice is something that will insure success in the long run. Practice means allowing your muscles, tendons, brain waves to develop pathways that allow the process to become automatic. Practice allows thought to fall away from the execution; it flows like pouring water. Thought is required to stop yourself from following through once the initial steps are executed. Practice creates a second nature to whatever is done and a comfort zone that exudes confidence. It reveals knowledge and mastery when we no longer consider it to be such.

To refrain from attempting to do something simply because of a fear of failure is to deny yourself to learn what strengths you do have. It may be that what’s being avoided is one of the biggest payloads that could have happened to you and your career. It may be another microbial step on the ladder to anyone else. But for you and coupled with your background, other experiences, and innovative mind, it’s fodder for creating something else (once the skill is mastered) that will lay the foundation for your own empire.

I think about Sam and his reticence and realize one factor that contributes to his sentence of subordination is that his load is quite heavy. But his work ethic is quite strong and carries him far on his path — even if it isn’t his chosen career path. Sam also has an excellent support network; he’s done well in getting himself established and surrounded by the right types of people with similar cultural and social values as his. Additionally, he is good at targeting others who have good, strong ethics to be friends and new social partners. Sam is good at mixing and very outgoing. He has no difficulty with networking. But he masks his abilities by refraining from doing some of the things that he feels will spell “failure” if he does not succeed on the first through third attempts.

Sam’s asset is his creative, innovative mind. He is capable of coming up with alternatives and successfully exploiting them. How is it, then, that he can be so good at succeeding in the uncharted areas but so desperately fear the ones that are clearly established? Perhaps that is the answer in and of itself. The first is of his own making. The other has a template that needs to be mapped. And Sam feels the map must be precise. Those with extreme discipline or were raised under exacting conditions would have this need to be acutely precise. Sam has strengths in areas where there is a template that allows for innovation. It doesn’t seem that he ventures into those areas very frequently.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where compliments don’t fall off the tips of our tongues each and every time someone does something in a superb way. Most likely Sam could use some affirmations as he moves through his various functions and achieves the small milestones that are leading him to his mountain of success. And it could also be that he doesn’t even see his successes because he’s so focused on the path. In that regard, I feel a bit like a failure, because I haven’t had that epiphany until now.

Hey, Sam!

A Purpose

There are days when we get discouraged about everything. The first impulse is to simply give up — completely give in to the setbacks and inertia. This is not some flitting fancy. It’s part of the emotion and state of mind involved in depression. And it happens not because we didn’t lift a finger and what we wished for on a star didn’t fall into our hands. No, there’s another reason for the depression.

The depression is the result of many long hours (even months or years) of striving, struggling against great odds and obstacles without rest or recreation. It seems the more we struggle, the more we work toward achieving our goal, the farther away it is removed from our grasp.

Additionally, we find ourselves not being rewarded in any manner for our efforts — or at least it seems that way on initial blush. All we can see is the hard labor, the sacrifices, the meagerness about us, the squalor, the unsavory characters that we were taught in Sunday School to give charity who are now our comrades. How did this circumstance happen and why? Is this the reward for hard work?

The fruit of our endeavors is taken from us, credit for it given to others who have done little to even merit their initials near the product. If credit is not given to another, then we find the work deleted, erased, denigrated as pitiful and having little to no value.

There is justification for this depression. It is not right, it is not fair to put forth so much effort and find yourself in a negative position from where you started. Life is about growth, not regression. Life is about becoming more capable, growing stronger and taller with each passing day. Life is about growing wiser with each experience.

And therein lies the answer to the frustration and depression. Were it an actuality that we were not making progress, there would be no one erasing what was done. No one would be trying to claim our work as theirs. And if there were not quality as part of the inherent value of the product, it would not be desired, there would be no competition for ownership of it.

What this says, then, is that we have wronged ourselves. We have put ourselves in the midst of people and we do not belong in this crowd. These people have a great deal to learn. There is a lot they need to learn about theirselves. There is a lot they need to learn about putting into a project the quality that is required in order to derive that quality at completion.

Our frustration is that, as Maslow’s hierarchy of needs puts it, we are striving to build our monuments to ourselves. The monuments are being destroyed and sometimes before our very eyes. We realize that with each destruction or theft, there is nothing to mark the fact that we traveled this road and had that impact on the environment as well as other beings.

It isn’t a comfort, especially if you’re in this frame of mind at this instant. But take heart. This Earth is a very volatile place. Nothing lasts. Everything is destroyed in its own time. Earthquakes will tumble mountains, tsunami will wash away entire civilizations. And with those destructions, evidence of the people and their civilization will also be destroyed. The only difference is that one was done by Man, the other by Nature.

True, this consolation is meager. But it is consolation. The other is, as I said before, if the efforts had poor worth, no one would bother to take or destroy it. Be glad that you did something that lured the avarist. You set a milestone before them, a bar over which they needed to leap and they could not meet the test.

As to the losses, especially of proper company, there is a remedy. Start today to make time for yourself. Give yourself an indulgence at least once a week. Call or email an old friend. Find a reason to laugh. Make certain you have a voluntary smile. Even if it’s a cup of weak tea, sip it as though it’s a priceless wine to be savored.

And most of all, remember to consider the little things that are still providing you with quality of life.

To pass over all of these things without thinking about them, appreciating them, is definitely the waste. It’s amazing when we take the time to look over our shoulder at the part of the field that has already been plowed instead of what is in front of us that is still rough hewn and in need of order. An occasional look back can actually bolster our conviction to push forward. There is conviction. But there needs to be a time of rest in order to consider what has already come and gone. It wasn’t a waste. It all had a purpose.

depression, quality of life, achievement, setbacks, change,

Does your resume say ‘Hire me!’?

Dispersion

It’s time for me to wax nostalgic again. This time, there are musings about whether other career coaches are suffering from similar pangs. Wanting our “students” to succeed. Wanting the connections to work. Getting just as excited as they are (or even more so) about the opportunities. Losing sight of when the coaching has stopped (if it ever does) and cutoff for job referrals has arrived so that it’s now up to the “student” to follow through on the best practices that were learned. I just get too invested in each one who demonstrates that they are serious and are dedicated to working for what they want.

First-stage Transition

It’s one thing to watch our “students” going through graduation. That was in May and June. There was relief at having survived another semester. Grades were earned and they were pretty decent after all. The coaches said, “I told you you could do it!” or “I knew you had it in you,” or just a mild, “Good.” No matter what the expression, it was genuine. Coaches comprehend what the students are enduring. We commiserate because we were there once and some of us are going through our own graduate studies of some sort.

The other thing that coaches experience is disappointment for our students. We are disappointed when their attention strays from their purpose or when they needlessly waste time on futile efforts. Efforts that are more play than networking and thereby allowing ripe seeds of next-stage associations to slip away. Efforts that are more spinning yarns that actually exploring possibilities. These are actually unfocused exercises at trying to emulate being “adult” and taking on responsibilities. Still, they are mere spinning tales in an effort to gain connection with someone. They do not yet understand the art of connecting with others. When these endeavors (spinning tales) overwhelm each encounter, there is no difficulty in releasing the student to their own devices while we focus on those who are more serious about their efforts.

Still, these intiates survived the semester. They either prepared for a summer internships, graduated and celebrated that victory, or took a break in order to begin the next session with a prepared mind. For those who graduated and had not started their job search three to four months in advance, we watch as they strive to make sense of these past four years and patiently provide a little more tutoring.

Second-stage Transition

Graduation may be over, but licensing Boards are not. So we survive the period of studying for the boards. The students periodically look up for a breath of real air and we are there to chime in with a little conversation about something light, a joke, share what we’re reading, socialize for a couple of minutes and then back to the books.

These students are not going the traditional business route. The Boards mean there is a program awaiting them contingent upon their performance on the boards. So coaches encourage and support. We engage in conversation that actualizes the studies so that the textbook looks more like real life than a classic representation.

No matter whether its graduation or finishing the Boards, the time comes when it’s time to leave the student housing. There’s a turnover at the campus hot spot and faces transition. There are smiles, lunches, worried looks, funny stories, and exchanges of email addresses and Facebook connections.

Third-stage Transition

Here we are at the downturning of August and we’ve come to yet another time of growing up in a initiate’s life. The dispersion phase. That time when the job offers have come from another locale have come and are accepted. Or the job offers have not come and the foreign students make the decision to return home. In either case, it’s time to move out of the student housing that held them during their studies. They’ve begun the emergence from the safe pod in which they were ensconced.

“Are you aware of how much you’ve changed since you came here?”

Some are; some are not. Some are not aware of what it means. It means they have graduated into a new, different way of thinking and seeing things. They are not the raw material that came to the university setting. Where there were folk traditions that were part of the initial persona, sophistication and culturalization have taken place. The student is more refined and they will not easily slip back into the old life. They may go home but it will be for a short time. During that brief interval, it is critical that they use their network (developed in the United States but reaching in all directions) to forge new inroads on their path and open new associations, while maintaining those relationships that spawned them. Those are the ones that have the most meaning because those are the relationships that created the foundation of the personality. By maintaining those relationships, one is better able to adapt to cultural differences, appreciate all types of people and communicate with them.

Saying “See You Later”

No matter whether it’s stage-one transition or stage three, there comes a time when the student must leave the cocoon, the safe place, and venture out. They need to disperse their self in the form of their resume or online profile into the world. Although you may have attempted this coaching lesson, trust me, they did not listen. It’s time to repeat it. Network. Network. Network. Make connections. Make connections for the sake of knowing people who know people who know things and can invite you to be part of it all. And once you’re part of “it,” you’re in a better place to determine whether that’s where you want to be or somewhere else. But you become that much more wise, sophisticated, and that much more invested with options and alternatives.

Whether they’re staying in the community or returning to another land, changes have occurred and created a friend where a coaching student once stood. It’s very difficult for me to let go of people. And if I believe in them, it’s difficult for me to cut off looking for leads and referrals. Do other coaches go through this? I truly hope so — for the sake of carving out the identity of good coaches in many places and for the associations that can blossom from the dispersion of the new seedlings.

graduation, job preparation, job search, actualization, transition,

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An Uncomfortable Situation

“Going home shouldn’t HURT,” is what the sign on the bus read and it encouraged calling the domestic violence hotline for Los Angeles County if you’re experiencing abuse. There are a lot of lessons that can be taught about domestic violence and the multiple forms of abuse associated with it. There are even more lessons that accompany going to the various agencies that purport to work toward eradicating abuse and supporting those who are victims of it. To some extent, those lessons are for another day.

More importantly, going to work shouldn’t HURT. Theoretically speaking, the focus is on the work product as it should reach the customer. Quality output, timeliness, accuracy. Those are the primary issues. The pettiness of who is talking about whom, what the color of their skin or hair or gender may be are not part of the product unless this is a salon of some type. But when it comes down to making the numbers crunch, or getting the database to hold and find all of the correct inputs, it doesn’t really matter who did it just so that it did get done. That is not about hurting. That is about focusing on the job and working toward a common goal for the stakeholder.

Another important thing is who made the best [sales] in the last period. Fantastic! Let’s team up with that person in order to learn how they did this so that we can replicate their positive angles, so that we can put our own spin on their techniques in order to personalize to our style and appeal to our class of customers.

Going to work shouldn’t hurt because of venomous remarks, needless comments, barked logic that when stepped away from collapses into drivel. Going to work shouldn’t mean we grit our teeth against discovering some critical document is lost that was in the middle of the desk when we turned off the lights last night. Going to work shouldn’t mean enduring people who interrupt what we’re saying because they know more than us, what we’re saying isn’t important enough to hear, isn’t very interesting, is always wrong.

Going to work shouldn’t hurt because everyone else gets a lunch break but not us. Demeaning remarks shouted out in public before co-workers and clients should not be the normal environment. The integrity of our work should pass muster from the last time our hands were on it to its delivery.

Yes, there are means of dealing with these situations. Reporting them to the appropriate compliance officer is one way of handling them. But the compliance officer has myopia and doesn’t see the situations as plainly as we do. Nothing happens. Is there any way to kick this up the ladder? Maybe not. In that case, it’s time to go to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

Examine the situation on an incident-by-incident basis. List each occurrence of something that is askew and the events surrounding it. Review the list. Look for a pattern. Who was present, in relation to other things, when did this occur? Note curious associations. Report these, especially if a pattern is recognized. Is there a time pattern or a cycle? Does this seem to happen to you only or are others similarly affected?

Are the reports you make going unheeded at every level? Then it’s time for you to take matters by the reins. Short of violence, do whatever is necessary to take care of yourself. Document when you have victories and get public acknowledgement of them whenever possible. Add them to your resume as accomplishments. Get endorsements on your networking profile. Make certain your profile is up to date. Circulate.

Do not be intimidated by the remarks when you speak up for yourself. Do not allow yourself to feel flustered and inadequate. Know your rules and ground work and adhere to it. Do not just stand up for yourself. Let people know when you’re asserting your rights. Phrase it so that the consequences reflect positively on you.

And while you’re at it, make certain you start researching where you will go next. While you’re at it, start interviewing for where you’ll go next.

Going to work nor going home should hurt.